Ok what a couple of days!!!! I have been buying parts and rebuilding my home computer system. For those computer geeks out there like me, we (mainly my wife) now have a really nice home base system with a 22 inch monitor. For those that do not know she is an artist and she really needed it.
There have been some very interesting thoughts happing at the same time. You see I took a student loan out that would allow me to buy a new computer. My goal was to purchase a new laptop that mainly my wife to use because I have a work laptop. The problem was that to get a good one and warranty it would have about $400 more than we really had to spend. So I decided to revamp the idea as a whole and upgrade our home system and buy a small play system for my kids. It worked well until I tried to put it all together LOL.
It was then that my plan ran into a ton of snags. I just thought I will simply slap all the parts in and away we go. This did not happen of course. I had all the right pieces and I had a well thought out plan but things just did not come together. I worked for hours to make it do what I knew it should do and be what I knew I should be. All I got was sweaty, frustrated and tried. I had to go to my grad class and while the professor was talking I was not listening. No, I was thinking about the utter failure of my plan and my day and how was I going to get money to finish this thing. No, my class was not that important to me at that moment there surly was no balance. I was stuck on making MY plan work.
Then they professor said this, “in every adversity there are seeds of equally if not exceedingly better lessons to learn.” It took a moment to register but it did! I was not facing adversity in the computer problem I was facing a lesson. My plan, my thoughts, my assumptions were not being fulfilled by and inanimate object that does not care how I feel or what my plan was. No it only knew that somehow the parts were not in the right order. It was not trying to get me angry or cost me money it just could not work because the flow of information was not right.
I have to admit it is then that I saw what I was doing. I was letting and non-living object and process affect my living and emotions. I went home and simply tried another combination of things and WALLA it worked!
Then I wondered have I done this with other things in life? Had I done this with what I feel God wants from me? I mean have most of my life frustrations been from simply not getting MY own way? When you KNOW you have all the right parts and a PERFECT plan then it SHOULD work the way you it is supposed to!!! There is no good reason for the project, ministry, job, the church, an outreach, a party, etc… not to work they way you planned it to.
In the Book of Job it says “I will never admit you are in the right; till I die, I will not deny my integrity. (Job 27:4-6) --- How many times have I thought this? I will not give in, even if it is on the inside. All this arrogance and self pity does is cause a person frustration and irritation. Things do not go right because you a have all the parts, they do not go right because you have a plan they go right because it was meant to be the flow of life was in the right order in God.
You see the problem with my computer was that I was stuck in my thoughts, my way, it should have worked and I was going to make it work. I just could not see past what I KNEW to be right. After I stood back I saw that my way was not right, my plan was ok but the method did not work until I thought and understood how the parts were suppose to be ordered. I had to let go of my ego and rework the process and put it together the way it needed to be to work.
Proverbs 21: 2 “All a man's ways seem right to him, but the LORD weighs the heart.” We can have all the right ideas on how to love people around us. We can have all the right team members, the right building, the right look, etc… but when thing don’t go the way we planned we often times we turn into Job. My way is right, I know it is and I am not giving it up.
However if we look the needs of those we want to love into relationship with God need to remember maybe the way things need to be for that to happen is not our planned out way. “The Lord weighs the heart” both of those that are in relationship and those that are with out one with Him. He knows the right way; He knows how to make things flow for His Kingdom to work. We might be frustrated and stuck wondering why things did not or are not working? Instead of looking at things and say what way is needed to see things work and follow that path instead of our own.
If we are to be follower of the Kingdom of God than the way can not follow our ways but it has to be Gods way and that way is truth lived and told to others in Love.
I pray that instead of letting the problems that came up control my reaction I can controll my reaction to counter the problem in the ways that God wants me to.
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