Everything in balance

  Today many are struggling to STOP the inflow of social media! doom scrolling and non-stop video watching is a danger to your place of peace and safety! Photo by Vitaly Gariev on Unsplash Here are 8 things you can do to slow the process down! Pause the video(s) if you feel overwhelmed and/or shut off the source off Take deep breaths to calm yourself. Remind yourself that it’s okay to feel emotions. yes, even strong emotions kike, anger, fear, and disgust! Ask yourself, are these feelings ok and safe for me? Do I feel better experiencing them or would it be better not to? Use positive self-talk to manage reactions. Focus on the present moment and notice your surroundings, and think calm thoughts, favorite music, food, funny memory... Choose to do a different activity - read a real book, go for a walk, play with your pet, get a glass of water and sip it slowly. Now keep your mind on staying calm or relaxed and do activities that lead you away from the OVERHELMED world that is soc...

  3 Self-Care Methods to Understanding Trauma and Hyper-Observation.   How to Recognize and Manage the Impacts of Trauma Through Mindful Practices Trauma can leave a lasting impact on our minds and bodies, sometimes showing up in ways we may not immediately recognize. One common response to trauma is hyper-observation—a heightened state of awareness where you constantly scan your environment for threats, changes, or subtle cues. While this heightened vigilance once served as a protective mechanism, and still does to some degree, it can be exhausting and make everyday interactions challenging. Hyper-observation often leads to feeling on edge, anxious, and/or disconnected from the present moment. You might find yourself overanalyzing situations, reading too deeply into people’s behaviors, or struggling to relax in social settings. Recognizing this pattern as a trauma reaction is the first step to healing and regaining a sense of safety in your body and mind. Trauma...

  How to Stop Negative Thoughts from Running Your Life Negative thoughts can be loud, convincing, and exhausting. They show up uninvited—first thing in the morning, in the middle of the night, or right when you’re trying to feel confident. And the worst part? We often believe them without question. These negative thoughts often stem from traumatic voices from your past. Your trauma response system used them to help you survive those experiences. The problem is that the system forgot to shut down!  But here’s the truth: a thought is not a fact . Just because your mind says something doesn’t mean it’s true, accurate, or helpful. Learning to stop negative thoughts isn’t about forcing positivity—it’s about regaining control . 1. Notice the Thought Without Judging It The first step is awareness.  Most negative thoughts run on autopilot and are triggered when you have to trust yourself. Start by simply noticing them: here are a few examples.  “I always mess things ...

  Understanding Your Mindset It’s essential to recognize that thoughts shape our feelings and behaviors. If you’re struggling with the thought “I am not good enough,” you’re likely experiencing low self-esteem. This mindset can create a cycle of negative self-talk and feelings, which can affect multiple areas of your life. Challenge Negative Beliefs 1.           Identify the Thought :            We have to learn to be much more self-aware . We carefully watch our words at work, church, school, and in other social settings—but we rarely pay attention to our own self-talk .                It’s true: we are often our own worst critics. The problem is that many of those self-critical                        thoughts aren’t truly ours . They come from trauma, repeated criticism, or being r...

 The holiday season, while filled with celebration and connection, often brings a surprising amount of pressure. Between family expectations, financial demands, and the rush to “make everything perfect,” stress can build quickly. Fortunately, there are simple and intentional ways to reclaim calm during this busy time. Photo by Octavian Iordache on Unsplash One powerful strategy is setting boundaries . Holidays tend to blur personal limits—saying yes to every event, every request, and every responsibility. Choosing what truly matters and letting go of the rest can create space to breathe. Whether that means declining an invitation, limiting spending, or carving out quiet time, boundaries help protect both energy and emotional well-being. Another way to destress is by embracing small rituals of self-care . These don’t need to be elaborate: a warm cup of tea before bed, a morning walk in cold air, a few minutes of journaling, or playing a favorite holiday playlist. Consistent micro-...

  I used to think as a therapist that getting people to the space of healing was a destination. That at some point, the person would have a moment, like walking up to a mountaintop, where the pain would vanish, and the view would be clear. That is a false hope! Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash The true way to see self-healing is as hard work. Healing is more like tending a garden in soil that's hard, uncared for, abandoned, and weed-filled. We bought a new house and found a lot of sand and stones where our garden needed to grow. I would have easily said, "No, we'll just buy from the farmer's market!" But, one must first decide to do the work, and that can be very intimidating. My wife said we could do it, and we DID! Watching that sand transform into a thin garden in year one, then a lush garden in year two and beyond, the connection hit me hard: this is what I've been doing with people for over 24 years. Therapy is much like tending this garden. Initially, ...

  CALM in PTSD SURGE When PTSD flares up, time becomes elastic. A smell, a sound, a shadow—any one of them can hurl you out of the present and into a flood of memory and fear. These moments don’t ask permission, they don’t play fair and you do not have warning most of the time.  I teach the targeted and focused process of grounding as it can help reestablish safety, gently coaxing the nervous system out of panic and back into now. 🌀 What Is Grounding? Grounding is the practice of anchoring yourself in the present moment. It's not about denying your past or suppressing emotion—it's about regaining control during an emotional hijack of the here and now. Some grounding techniques are sensory: Touch grounding: Holding an object and focusing on the physical interaction of your skin and thoughts while holding an object. It can be a specific object of any random object that is close by such as an as a small stone you carry with you, an ice cube out of glass of soda, pen, coins ...

  "Depression in men often looks different than what we expect. ? It might show up as: Anger or Irritability Instead of Sadness Many men have never been taught how to express sadness, grief, or fear. As a result, these feelings often emerge as anger or irritability. For some, it's the only emotion they feel permitted—or even safe—to show. What looks like frustration on the surface may actually be sorrow or anxiety trying to find a way out. Working Excessively For many men, work becomes a form of escape. The structure, clear expectations, and familiar routines offer a sense of control that emotional life often does not. Immersing themselves in their careers allows men to avoid confronting emotional confusion or vulnerability. Withdrawing from Friends and Family When faced with problems they can't solve or emotions they can't fix, many men instinctively retreat. The pressure to always have answers can be overwhelming, and in the absence of solutions, withdrawal may feel...

  Balancing Political Fear and Emotions What is Political Fear? Political fear is a psychological response to perceived threats related to political systems, leaders, or events.  It can manifest as anxiety, stress, or a sense of helplessness, often intensified during election seasons, post-election political upheavals, or societal changes. Many people in the USA right now are particularly sensitive to the changing political dynamics as they navigate their roles in family, work, and civic life. No matter what your political viewpoint is, there are a lot of changes happening, and this can cause fear and mental disruption.   Use this simple guide to help bring your mind into balance and bring positive mental health focus.  1. Identify Your Triggers Self-awareness :  Recognize what “specific” political issues or events trigger feelings of fear or anxiety. This might include reading headlines or watching news coverage,  scrolling  social ...