How to Stop Negative Thoughts from Running Your Life

 


How to Stop Negative Thoughts from Running Your Life

Negative thoughts can be loud, convincing, and exhausting. They show up uninvited—first thing in the morning, in the middle of the night, or right when you’re trying to feel confident. And the worst part? We often believe them without question.

These negative thoughts often stem from traumatic voices from your past. Your trauma response system used them to help you survive those experiences. The problem is that the system forgot to shut down! 

But here’s the truth: a thought is not a fact.

Just because your mind says something doesn’t mean it’s true, accurate, or helpful. Learning to stop negative thoughts isn’t about forcing positivity—it’s about regaining control.

1. Notice the Thought Without Judging It

The first step is awareness. 

Most negative thoughts run on autopilot and are triggered when you have to trust yourself. Start by simply noticing them: here are a few examples. 

  • “I always mess things up.”

  • “I’m not good enough.”

  • “This will never change.”

  • "I don't deserve good things." 

  • "No one can every love me."

Once you are aware of the negative thought you do not have to argue with the thought, yet. 

For NOW just label it: “That’s a negative thought and that is not my voice”

This small pause creates space between you and the thought—and that space is powerful.

2. Stop Treating Thoughts Like Facts

Negative trauma thoughts often sound absolute: always, never, everyone, no one. That’s a red flag to notice. 

Ask yourself:

  • That sounded very absolute, is that a Trauma thought?

  • What evidence do I actually have?

  • Would I say this to someone I care about?

  • Is there another explanation?

You’re not lying to yourself—you’re questioning an unreliable narration of yourself.

3. Replace “Why Am I Like This?” with “What’s Happening Right Now?”

Negative trauma thinking thrives on shame and self-blame. 

Shift your focus from who you are to what you’re experiencing:

  • I’m not good enough - Why am I afraid to try this?
  • This will never change to It will change if I change it!
  • I don't deserve good things to I would like this item so it is ok.
  • No one can every love me to I need to be open to relationships.

This change reduces emotional intensity and brings you back into the present moment—where healing happens. This NEW voice is YOURS not trauma's! 

4. Talk Back with a Calm, Realistic Voice

You don’t need affirmations that feel fake. Aim for balanced truth:

  • “This is hard, but I’ve handled hard things before.”

  • “I’m struggling, and that is OK but I am not failing.”

  • “This feeling will pass—even if it doesn’t feel like it.”

Consistency matters more than perfection. Calling out Traumas Negative Voice is taking control over those that are living in your head and still hurting you! CALL OUT TO YOUR VOICE! This is harder a first but the brain learns through repetition.

5. Practice Daily—Not Just When You Feel Bad

Stopping negative thoughts is a skill, and skills improve with practice. 

Spend a few minutes each day checking in with your inner dialogue. The goal isn’t to eliminate negative thoughts forever. You can not remove something that is in your head YOU CAN stop letting them control your emotions, decisions, and self-worth by choosing a different response to these type of Negative trauma thoughts. 

Final Thought
Negative thoughts don’t define you. They’re learned trauma patterns—and anything learned can be unlearned. 

With: 

awareness, 

patience, 

practice,

Choice!  

you can quiet the noise and create a kinder, more grounded relationship with your own mind.

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