Everything in balance

  Fear of failure can be a significant barrier in both personal and professional growth. It’s essential to reshape our thoughts and behaviors to move forward confidently. Here’s a structured approach based on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) principles. Understanding Your Fear Challenge the Mindset Start by acknowledging the thought “If I do not succeed, I am a failure.” This is a cognitive distortion that equates your self-worth with your achievements. 1.           Identify Evidence : W rite down instances where you did not succeed.           W hat did you learn from them?  Were there aspects of your experiences that contributed to growth? 2.           Reframe :                 Transform the thought into a more balanced one.                 ...

  How to Stop Negative Thoughts from Running Your Life Negative thoughts can be loud, convincing, and exhausting. They show up uninvited—first thing in the morning, in the middle of the night, or right when you’re trying to feel confident. And the worst part? We often believe them without question. These negative thoughts often stem from traumatic voices from your past. Your trauma response system used them to help you survive those experiences. The problem is that the system forgot to shut down!  But here’s the truth: a thought is not a fact . Just because your mind says something doesn’t mean it’s true, accurate, or helpful. Learning to stop negative thoughts isn’t about forcing positivity—it’s about regaining control . 1. Notice the Thought Without Judging It The first step is awareness.  Most negative thoughts run on autopilot and are triggered when you have to trust yourself. Start by simply noticing them: here are a few examples.  “I always mess things ...

  CALM in PTSD SURGE When PTSD flares up, time becomes elastic. A smell, a sound, a shadow—any one of them can hurl you out of the present and into a flood of memory and fear. These moments don’t ask permission, they don’t play fair and you do not have warning most of the time.  I teach the targeted and focused process of grounding as it can help reestablish safety, gently coaxing the nervous system out of panic and back into now. 🌀 What Is Grounding? Grounding is the practice of anchoring yourself in the present moment. It's not about denying your past or suppressing emotion—it's about regaining control during an emotional hijack of the here and now. Some grounding techniques are sensory: Touch grounding: Holding an object and focusing on the physical interaction of your skin and thoughts while holding an object. It can be a specific object of any random object that is close by such as an as a small stone you carry with you, an ice cube out of glass of soda, pen, coins ...

Trauma is a powerful force that can leave deep emotional wounds in its wake. The journey to healing from trauma is often challenging and complex, but it is possible to find solace and move forward. In this blog post, we will explore the transformative power of forgiveness and how it can assist in the process of not just surviving but thriving after experiencing trauma.  Understanding Trauma Before exploring the healing process, it is essential to clearly understand what trauma involves. Trauma can present itself in various forms, including physical, emotional, or psychological abuse, accidents, natural disasters, or the loss of a loved one. Its effects can be enduring and profoundly impactful, influencing every aspect of a person's life. The Power of Forgiveness Forgiveness can be difficult to embrace, especially after traumatic experiences. However, it holds immense power in the healing journey. Forgiveness does not imply condoning or forgetting the actions that caused the trauma;...

Define yourself! I was introduced to a trainee doctor in my oncology office as – "This is our patient he has colon cancer."  I reached out my hand and said – Hi I am Paul… Doc looked up and then back down at his computer.  This was 10 years ago and it still bugs me! That is when I discovered I had lost my identity! I was now a cancer patient or someone fighting cancer… Who I was no longer mattered I was now just a disease label! That is when I said thought NO! I was going to get my identity back, but how? We live in a labeling world! By illness, by race, by gender, by profession, by location, by sports team, by car type and least we forget college of graduation!   We live wrapped in labels! I have conversations (not in therapy) with people and within minutes I hear things like I have depression or anxiety or allergies or nerve damage or blah blah blah…..     People just use their sickness/disability label to self-identify to e...