WHAT ARE YOU?

Finding your path in this crazy world is like stumbling out of bed in the dark and finding your way to the bathroom. You are driven to move forward by a force that you can feel even though your body is not in a functional mode. You kind of know the path but you hit things with your arms and many time your pinky toe. If you took this same path during the day time you would never hurt yourself. In fact you would see everything that stood between you and you target.

Now if a person wanted to do this process logically one would awaken and sit on the side of the bed for a minute allowing there senses to gather and eyes adjust to the night or what light there was in the room. Then the trip to the bathroom would be uneventful and a lot less painful. What do we do though? We hop out of bed and force our way to the bathroom causing untold pain and destruction along the way.

Life reminds me of this process a lot of times. We are driven by a force to move forward to get to a destination. We do not really know where this destination is but we have to get there. We stumble through life finding ourselves and making a mess all along the way. I know I have kicked my life’s little toe many times!! Some call the destination the will of God for your life others call this your destiny. I have heard it said that to be happy one must follow the “will” of God or fulfill ones destiny. The thing that has always ticked me off about these people that say this is when you asked how they never had or have an answer. Oh they would have some platitude or brush off statement like “pray” “read the bible” “follow the Spirit” or “it will find you.” You know what that brakes down to? The highest form of BS.

We ask our children what do you want to be when you grow up and they have funny answers like a firefighter, a dog, or with my son a golfer. Never have I heard someone say I want to be a mid level manger that can be fired anytime or I want to be a miserable person that has had many “careers” while I find out who I am. Never do they say I want a job that I might not like but pays the bills. No they want to be something they find interesting, exciting and something they are interested in. What happens to these dreams and hopes? Why do they change? I know that children grow up and they develop understanding of how to become things such as doctor and it is hard. What if Michael Jorden had given up when cut from freshman year or Ronald Ragen had given up when not cast as lead in high school? These talented gifted men would have never become the historical figures they are today.

I think instead of struggling in the dark of life looking for who we are we need to see what we are. Are we a firefighter, a golfer, a doctor, a preacher, an artist etc… what are we? Is there anything that we are talented at that we can not become? See I grew up very poor I know that money can buy ones future but I can tell you that I have not got my BA and now close to my MA free or easy but I have done it and so can you.

The main thing is we also need to look at who we are not. I for example am not a chemist I have not got the talent for mixing things; I am not an investor I (sadly) do not have the ability to see money before it is made. There are many things I am not I just do not have the ability to do. I can learn and be ok at anything but it would be hard if not miserable for me to do so.

I have spent a lot of years trying to become a “preacher/pastor.” Why? Well I have the talent to teach things, anything that I can understand, I can relate back to others in a way they can grasp. I have the ability to care about others both physically and spiritually. I love to read and understand theology and things about God. So growing up in a very Pentecostal home that meant I was “called” to the ministry. To lead the lost home, to shepherd a part of Gods flock. What I realized just recently is that the gifts I have (what I am) do not correlate to the gifts one needs to do this job. I looked at the skills of most preachers/pastors they have an ability to motivate and lead people in projects and unity. They have the ability that others just naturally follow their lead. They have the ability to open spiritual conversation with non/un churched people and lead them to a relationship with Jesus. These are gifts I have never had.

I do have the ability to listen so I can help those (individuals and small groups) with personal problems, I can teach those looking for insight on theology or life issues, I can love those who are hurting, I can listen to those that need a compassionate ear. These are my gifts and I need to fully embrace them!

Remember all those people that said “all you have to do is follow the will of God? I do not want to be another one SO here is my thoughts on it --- There is a verse in the bible that says God will give you the desires of you heart. I do not think he was talking about cars and money. No I think he is talking about those things that motivate you, that drive you, which you feel fulfilled in. Many times in the Christian realm we think that the only real effective people for God are those that preach and teach and save the lost but think about it for minute. It is a kingdom; He needs teachers, garbage men/women cooks, maids, farmers, counselors, preachers, sales people, etc… He puts a desire in your heart for a reason that is for you to fulfill that is your place in His kingdom. We might all want to be special and WE are in God’s eyes for if we fulfill our part of the kingdom with joy and satisfaction than we have done the will of God for as we do his will we will change the Kingdom for the better.

For me the balance in this is/has been slow coming. I see now that while I can affect the Kingdom very much it will not be in the way that I have been taught, told, prophesied over, perhaps brain washed is a little strong but close. No, I have a part to play as a caring, loving person that loves God with his whole heart, mind and body. I can help people around me find answers for their troubles and pains. I can teach about the things I understand about God and life. This is not an easy thing to realize at 30+ years old. Yet on the other hand it feels good finding out what and who you are because then you can be happy following the masters plan for your life and just maybe aviosd kicking life’s pinky toe!