Everything in balance

  Photo by Carles Rabada on Unsplash Somewhere along the way, our society started confusing punishment for crimes with containment — and containment with care. Jails and prisons were designed to hold people who choose to break the law of the land. Laws that have been reviewed and established as true and within the constructs of the U.S. Constitution. The criminal justice system was built to contain crime—not to care for those battling mental illness. Prisons were never designed for people who hold extreme beliefs—only for those who act on them in ways that violate the law. Words alone should never warrant punishment, let alone death. Every year, thousands of people with serious mental health conditions are funneled into the criminal justice system—not because they’re inherently dangerous, but because they’ve broken laws as a result of untreated mental illness. Our systems of care continue to fail them. When someone is psychotic, manic, or deeply depressed and doesn’t receive tim...

     Photo by  Jon Tyson  on  Unsplash      I n a world that claims to value free speech, it’s striking how often truth-telling is punished. Not with handcuffs or censorship, but with subtler weapons: professional isolation, social backlash, reputational smears, and the quiet erosion of trust and HARD WEAPONS (again) as of last week a with a shot heard around the world! For many, especially those in education, healthcare, the justice system, and faith-based organizations, expressing an honest opinion can feel like walking through a minefield. They push you to obey, follow, and parrot the powerful; they demand alignment, or at the very least, silence! 🔍 The Emotional Toll of Self-Censorship Silencing oneself isn’t just a strategic move—it’s a psychological burden. Over time, the internal conflict between what we know and what we’re allowed to say breeds: Chronic anxiety: second-guessing every word, every post, every conversation. Moral fatigu...

 ⚖️ Are Judges Trained to Deal with Mental Illness? Spoiler: No they are NOT! And that’s a problem                                                   Photo by Tingey Injury Law Firm on Unsplash Decarlos Brown Jr., 34, who was arrested on Aug. 22 after he fatally stabbed 23-year-old Iryna Zarutska. (abc.com)  The suspect, 34-year-old Decarlos Brown  had been diagnosed with schizophrenia and suffered hallucinations and paranoia, his sister Tracey Brown said. She said her brother told her multiple times the government had implanted a chip in him. (cnn.com)  What is justice in this case? Death penalty? life in prison? Life in a Hospital for the criminally insane?  The history of this man is woven with chances to protect society and get him help but time and time again the system failed to do both or did it fail? Failure, in this case means you ...

  I used to think as a therapist that getting people to the space of healing was a destination. That at some point, the person would have a moment, like walking up to a mountaintop, where the pain would vanish, and the view would be clear. That is a false hope! Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash The true way to see self-healing is as hard work. Healing is more like tending a garden in soil that's hard, uncared for, abandoned, and weed-filled. We bought a new house and found a lot of sand and stones where our garden needed to grow. I would have easily said, "No, we'll just buy from the farmer's market!" But, one must first decide to do the work, and that can be very intimidating. My wife said we could do it, and we DID! Watching that sand transform into a thin garden in year one, then a lush garden in year two and beyond, the connection hit me hard: this is what I've been doing with people for over 24 years. Therapy is much like tending this garden. Initially, ...

  CALM in PTSD SURGE When PTSD flares up, time becomes elastic. A smell, a sound, a shadow—any one of them can hurl you out of the present and into a flood of memory and fear. These moments don’t ask permission, they don’t play fair and you do not have warning most of the time.  I teach the targeted and focused process of grounding as it can help reestablish safety, gently coaxing the nervous system out of panic and back into now. 🌀 What Is Grounding? Grounding is the practice of anchoring yourself in the present moment. It's not about denying your past or suppressing emotion—it's about regaining control during an emotional hijack of the here and now. Some grounding techniques are sensory: Touch grounding: Holding an object and focusing on the physical interaction of your skin and thoughts while holding an object. It can be a specific object of any random object that is close by such as an as a small stone you carry with you, an ice cube out of glass of soda, pen, coins ...

                                                                                Phot by RA ImageZ on Unsplash Real masculinity isn’t measured in how many wings you can down at a party. It is not how many trips to a buffet you can make. It is not that you can finish your partners meal even after eating yours!  Studies show some men overeat in social settings to appear more masculine or dominant—but their is a cost?  Social pressure, performance, and trained behaviors and expectations of manhood can lead to unhealthy habits which can lead to,  Obesity, Beer Belly, Low self esteem, sleep disturbance,  high blood pressure,  disordered eating,  diabetes,  ED and many other physical and mental health issues.    L...

  "Depression in men often looks different than what we expect. ? It might show up as: Anger or Irritability Instead of Sadness Many men have never been taught how to express sadness, grief, or fear. As a result, these feelings often emerge as anger or irritability. For some, it's the only emotion they feel permitted—or even safe—to show. What looks like frustration on the surface may actually be sorrow or anxiety trying to find a way out. Working Excessively For many men, work becomes a form of escape. The structure, clear expectations, and familiar routines offer a sense of control that emotional life often does not. Immersing themselves in their careers allows men to avoid confronting emotional confusion or vulnerability. Withdrawing from Friends and Family When faced with problems they can't solve or emotions they can't fix, many men instinctively retreat. The pressure to always have answers can be overwhelming, and in the absence of solutions, withdrawal may feel...

 In corporate environments, men often feel pressure to appear invulnerable.  However, the reality is: 1 in 8 men experience depression, and workplace stress is often a significant factor. As leaders and colleagues, we can:  ✓ Normalize mental health conversations and encourage seeking support. ✓ Offer flexible work arrangements so people can see therapist as they need too.   ✓ Lead by example in seeking help and share support.  ✓ Create psychologically safe environments for all people in the work space.  Taking care of our mental health isn't just personal—it's professional.  When we're mentally healthy, we're more creative, productive, and better leaders. Let's change the narrative around men's mental health in the workplace. #Leadership #MentalHealthAtWork #WorkplaceWellness #MensMentalHealth" I offer therapy and professional mental health training contact me at my website at  Lifeline Connections Therapy  

  Talking About Hard topics: Sharing personal and sensitive topics, such as our trauma history or mental health needs, can understandably bring about several challenges. One significant concern can be the fear of rejection. When we open up and share deep aspects of ourselves, there's a natural worry that the other person might not accept or understand us. Another layer of difficulty involves the anxiety associated with trust. Expressing traumatic experiences requires us to be vulnerable and place our trust in another individual, which can be daunting. Additionally, it's common to experience a feeling of weakness when expressing our own needs. We might have a misconception that sharing our vulnerabilities or requirements could be perceived as a sign of weakness. Preparing for a Difficult Conversation Talking about trauma or other personal topics can be difficult. Here are few steps to help you prepare: Preparing Internally Practice what you want to say into a mirr...

  (CBT) Worksheet for Anxiety related issues in relationship communications: Overview This worksheet is designed for individuals dealing with high Anxiety who are experiencing relationship communication issues. The goal is to help develop improved communication skills through cognitive-behavioral techniques, specifically using thought challenging. Goals Identify and challenge anxious thoughts related to communication in relationships. Improve communication skills by practicing effective dialogue techniques. Develop actionable steps to implement in daily interactions. Section 1: Recognizing Anxious Thoughts Exercise 1: Thought Record In the space below, write down any anxious thoughts you have related to your communication in relationships. Consider the situations that trigger these thoughts. Date:___________ Who were you communicating to: _______________________________________________________ Describe Situation:______________________________________...

  What is a Trauma event(s) A traumatic event is an incident that causes physical, emotional, spiritual, or psychological harm. It is an event that leave a person feeling threatened, frightened, or overwhelmed. Examples include accidents, natural disasters, violence, abuse, or witnessing a distressing event. It is triggers the human Fight or Flight which response to the maximum that often leaves a person stuck int fight, flight or freeze mode, this can trigger the trauma response system (TRS). What is a Trauma Response? Trauma responses refer to the psychological, emotional, and physical reactions individuals may experience after encountering a traumatic event. This is a human defense system! The trauma response system (TRS) allows humans to survive horrible event(s) including accidents, abuse, violence, loss, natural disasters and long term trauma exposure. Once your trauma response system is activated it can fail to stop protecting you long after the trauma event(s) are...