When LIFE Stops what then?

I have been asked by people in counseling sessions “How can I ever get over this?” and “How can I ever get back to life?” These are people that have come to a point where problems are making them feel like their lives have actually stopped and they cannot see how they can get it going again.

 

                                         

                                                    Photo by Youcef Chenzer on Unsplash

Over the years I have given many different answers to these questions. I have said things like: “Well you have to take one day at a time" and "When things are this hard you just have to have hope and believe that a better day will come in time.” 

I have been through many hard and bad things in my life but after I had to deal with cancer my entire life view has been reshaped. The advice I use to give is true and are solid answers but not very useful ones! This is so hard when a person feels when they are down to the point they feel life is stopped and they cannot see a better day.

The true change in my heart and mind came when the Dr. told me I had cancer in 2009. I thought at that moment LIFE HAS STOPPED (forever) – I could not think or process all the fears, anger, and sadness that I was feeling at first. I thought “How do I go on from here!” It was then the I see my original advice did not make much sense even to me. 

I realized I had never understood how deep and powerful this point in human emotions could be. It took me some weeks to really figure things out. Even today every now and then I have to return to this advice I am about to share.

My new advice to people that feels like their life is stopped is ---- 

 

“all you can do is just keep going forward, you do this by placing one foot in front of the other and living day by day sometimes hour by hour! 

Simply put – NEVER STOP LIVING

When I was working during Chemotherapy it was nothing short of the hardest thing I have ever done in my life physically and emotionally! I knew that there was only one way to make it – Every morning I decided that I was going to put one foot in front of the other. That way I at least knew that I would be moving forward. If I move forward then I would get to the end somewhere, sometime and somehow.

You see there is a look on a person's face when they hit that stopping point. You can see this in humanity when you see interviews with people that have just lost everything to natural disasters. You see people looking at it with “THE LOOK” that once you have been at that point you know very well – the look of what do we do now? 

This is a place where fear overloads the mind, where anxiety is in charge, and numbness is what your feeling! My advice to anyone in this place as a licensed professional counselor is – NEVER STOP! You may not know what to do or how to do but do something! Small things that to others may seem insensitive or like you in denial but the "things" you're doing will keep you moving forward. Just never stop living! 

It seems like a simple combination of words but the actual effort that a person needs to achieve this mental place of being is enormous. The only way you can do this is by knowing that “If you put one foot in front of the other you will be at least moving forward AND if I move forward then you will get to the end (of this time) somewhere, sometime and somehow.

A friend (who has lived through several bouts of breast cancer) wrote me once and said --- 

LIVE MAN LIVE you are not dead! 

So you have to LIVE MAN LIVE.