I remember as a young man I watched Steve jobs on TV. He was going to change the world with his company – and he did! Then like all the rest of us will – he died. Very rich, but still he died.

Did he die right?

He was one of the richest men in the world. He could have had anything he wanted! He was a     demigod to some and guru to others – he was mourned by perhaps – billions but did he die right? 

I knew a simple man that lived in a simple house, did a simple job, and he too died.  He did not change the world, he did not have everything he wanted, he was a father to a couple of kids and husband to one, and he was mourned by only a handful. Did he die right?

 It is said that the only difference in a coffin is the wood it is made from but in the end, it will all decay just the same!

I have seen a huge grave memorials a few stories tall. They were made with the finest marble and craftsmanship. I have seen ones with high-tech video images and statues of grand size. I have walked in graveyards and seen simple stones simply saying “this was my beloved.”  I have been in graveyards so old that the stones where little more than rounded rocks and the large memorials only half what they were.  Yet the difference in the might to the tiny was nothing, as they all pointed to where a human was laid to rest.

There is a place for the Steve Jobs and for the simple men in life. Yet the question is did they live their lives to die right? How does one die right? Is there a right death?

Does being a demigod, mean you have a better death than a homeless person? 

For when the eyes grow dark for the last time is there a difference between men? (Ancient saying)

Life’s a great question, so we have been told is “why are we here?” 

We have religions and beliefs that try to answer this.

We have developed science and education that tries to answer this. 

We look to the heavens and space to try to answer this.

For those that believe they know this then they live their lives to uphold that so they can die right, even if it is in their own minds. Truly I believe the answer is unknowable!

Steve and the simple man lived the same lives!

Both had joys and fears.

Both had love and hate.

Both had success and failures

Both like the rest of us will end in death.

I write this from a place of thought and reflection as I too journey thought my life. I do not know if I will ever be ready to die?

I have come to the place where if I am only known as a simple man or become a demigod  in society’s eyes, in the end I know I will die.

So I share this – I do not know if I will die right BUT For me when I die I hope it will be “alright” for I have but two rules for my life:

1 – I believe there is a God that knows I exist for I am one of Gods creations! 

2 – Ones next journey depends on the love you give to others in this life!

We all live to die that is a fact – the question is not will I die right?

The Question is how I LIVE so when I die it will be alright?

That is the true question that only you can answer!

Encouraging your faith and life through this journey!

Photo by Scott Rodgerson on Unsplash

Not a label!

Define yourself!

I was introduced to a trainee doctor in my oncology office as – "This is our patient he has colon cancer." 

I reached out my hand and said – Hi I am Paul… Doc looked up and then back down at his computer. This was 10 years ago and it still bugs me!

That is when I discovered I had lost my identity! I was now a cancer patient or someone fighting cancer… Who I was no longer mattered I was now just a disease label!

That is when I said thought NO! I was going to get my identity back, but how?

We live in a labeling world! By illness, by race, by gender, by profession, by location, by sports team, by car type and least we forget college of graduation!  We live wrapped in labels!

I have conversations (not in therapy) with people and within minutes I hear things like I have depression or anxiety or allergies or nerve damage or blah blah blah…..   

People just use their sickness/disability label to self-identify to everyone around them that what they have or are dealing with is who they are!

I never tell people in conversation that I had cancer unless they ask or it is appropriate to do so and most of the time it is NOT!  I don’t avoid the conversation but I am more than a sickness I had!

I am grateful to have lived! I am willing to encourage others with the story of survival BUT and that is a BIG, BIG BUT!!!!

I am not what I had or what I am dealing with and NEITHER ARE YOU!

THAT’S is the point to this blog!

My sister in law is a world class deaf interrupter, she has three awesome kids and she is a kind hearted person!  She has had to deal with a lot of illnesses and now breast cancer… But not one of those illnesses are more important than who SHE IS!

We get lost in labels – sometimes we forget who we are and become that label we have been given to the point we forget we are anything else. This trapped mindset can make you sicker, slow recovery and worst of all keep you from achieving awesome things!

I am bi-polar, I am fighting cancer, I am disabled, I am _______ - Put your label in the blank!  

THEN STOP!

YOU ARE NOT!

We read about people that overcome difficulties and achieve things like the man that had not legs and ran the Boston Marathon, the child with no arms winning swimming competitions, the mom and dad that spent her last day watching Disney movies with their child before dying…  and we say WOW they are strong, They are amazing… YES THEY ARE… but only because they did not become the struggle they had! THEY CHOOSE WHO THEY ARE!

WHO ARE YOU?

A Mom, dad, aunt bother, sister, friend, son, daughter, golfer, doctor, mechanic, student, singer, preacher, baker, bus driver????   See you get to choose your identities!

If you have illness ok… so what! – You can admit that but don’t become that! If you are sick or dealing with a disability I understand some days are HARD!

Yet I promise you if you define yourself as who you are and not what you have you will be better!

Let me show you how----

I had cancer, 

I had asthma, 

I have aches and pains, 

I have fears and anxiety….  

BUT

 I AM - a good dad, good husband, good friend, good therapist, bad golfer, kind person, and I am alive and I choose to live happy as much as I can! THIS IS WHO I AM!  

WHO ARE YOU?  If you can’t say who you right now - then write it DOWN and repeat it to yourself several times a day until you don’t have to!

When people ask oh you have???? Say yeah BUT I focus on being me!

You are not cancer, you are not sickness, you are not a disability!!!!!!

YOU ARE AMAZING AND THE WORLD NEEDS YOU AND ME TO BE US!

WHO ARE YOU?????

I dare you to write it out in the comments and then share it to the world!

Image from: http://www.humboldtmadephotos.com/27/1/blank-label-design-templates/fancy-labels-template-example-for-free-blank-label-design-templates-regarding-blank-label-design-templates/